Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato.
Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Charisma is how likely the tomato is to want to fuck you and if you think otherwise you’ve be playing with the wrong people
Avengers Business Cards - Just because
“Not that kind of doctor” needs to be on Bruce’s. okay? Okay.
I saw this post in Facebook with the caption “apparently Mac supports windows” and I cried
the entire history of earth has merely been a buildup to this point
i really dont care that this isnt animal crossing this is the most important thing i will ever post
D: I heard you were staying.
S: Yes. I will still be working here. As will you. And I am mortified.
D: It’s -
S: We will both be working here but we will never speak or make eye contact ever again. Starting now.
D: I don’t think that’s realistic.
S: I just turned down 4 million dollars a year so that I can try do some good by reporting the news. Do I sound like someone who’s living in the world of the realistic?
D: It’s really -
S: Starting now.